I didnt mean for all this to happen?

met a girl who happened to be related third or forth cousins me we fell deeply in love (we hadn't met each other before) she migrated to start a new life but i decided that i couldn't go along with it but carried on seeing her i was trying to let her down gently cause i did l really cared still do for her didn't want to hurt her. when i came down to it she was feeling the same as me but wanted to work through it but i decided to let her go. when she tried to talk to me about it i wouldnt just tried to be friendly didnt want to have them feelings anymore i wanted her to stay so i cud keep an eye on her but she said she had to she was hurt we did talked to her about getting married an having kids i felt she was running away do u think im right i wanted to see if we could help each other through this. i feel guilty because everyone loved this girl n felt the same as me didnt want her to leave. i told her that id been felling like i couldn't be with her almost from the beginning but prolonged it cause i couldn't bear to see her with someone else. she smarted started to add things up and asked me why i was always talking about marriage and kids n i told it was because i knew she didn't want that an if i kept going on about it shed get fed up. she seemed to like kids the way shed hold babies but then sometimes i noticed she would hold a baby and then quickly give it to someone else she said she thought about having a child for me so much that it made her stomach feel sick cause she knew it was what i wanted an couldn't believe i wold do that do u think i was wrong do u think she would have eventually had a child for me. when she returned home she told me she was pregnant but having a abortion and she was coming back i still have strong feelings for her n don't want to see her with anyone else and now to top it all off some one is coming on my msn giving me abuse emailing me telling me im a duty stinking wrencking sly dreed telling me she didn't have one and that she is either gonna bring the kids to me to look after or put them up 4 adoption Ive been raising my daughter since she 2 shes 9 now what should i do about this situation an why didn't she tell me i liked to think we were close i was there for her an she knows i was i even paid for her ticket so she could go back home. if she does come back im wondering wat will go down cause this GIRL AINT EASY